Nevada Jack hasn't been too active since the Bush Administration, but he has finally come out of retirement and decided to throw his two cent into the current political climate in America. "I'm not looking to do a long term political gig," the furry fellow said when he turned in his copy. "After all, there are more important things than politics. Both the regular season for Major league baseball and trout season opens next month."
Shake It Up
by Nevada Jack
Ever wonder why certain characters all seem to be drinking Cokes or Pepsi s or eating Reese’s Peanut Pieces? Somewhere, some marketing guru paid a producer for the rights to have their product featured on the big screen. It’s standard practice for manufacturers to pay to have their products highlighted in movies. Subtle advertising! The consumer doesn’t even know he’s just paid and outrageous amount of money to watch a commercial. In a bold move, Henry Liealot, the marketing guru for The Ohio Art Company, makers of the 50 year old kid’s toy Etch A Sketch, came up with a new product placement scheme. Liealot negotiated a financial deal with Mitt Ronney's aide Eric Fehrnstorm to highlight his company’s product on the campaign trail. Etch A Sketch sales have skyrocketed, forcing many stores to dig through their back shelves to find extra boxes of the product, which were then dusted off and for the first time since 1969, prominently displayed.
Most baby boomers have fond memories of the Etch A Sketch as a favorite Christmas or birthday gift from back in the 60s. The “favorite status” of the gift generally lasted about 48 hours, after which the toy was cast off, only later to be passed down to a younger sibling or sold at a church rummage sale. Lately, the company has been battling to market its product in a digital age.
I’ve been amazed at the result,” said Liealot. I didn’t even think about approaching rival candidates with the idea, but soon both Newt Gingrich and Rick Santorum were playing with their own Etch A Sketches. In what seemed to be a replay of many baby boomers childhood fights, Rick grabbed Newt’s Etch A Sketch and erased his drawing of the White House. Newt responded with a sucker punch to Rick’s stomach. Meanwhile, Mitt picked up another delegate from some far-flung American territory in the South Pacific. Commentators at all the major news media outlets pondered if it was finally enough for him to put away the nomination.
In response to the success had by the Ohio Art Company, other manufacturers have been quick to start their own political product placement campaigns. In the board room of Just for Men Shampoo, a debate has been ongoing as to whether they should try to pitch their product to Mitt or Rick. Newt’s campaign has been proactive, conducting their own a bidding war to decide if their candidate will represent the Double Wooper or the Big Mac. The Hunger Games producers have supposedly been approached by Ron Paul’s folks for an endorsement. It does seem like the Republican party is truly the party of big business, but that hasn’t stopped Spaulding, a major supplier of basketballs to approach President Obama for his endorsement. The President, who was reportedly seen wearing a Carolina blue jersey, told the Spaulding representative to get back with him after the NCAA tournament was over.
A poll conducted by Phew Public Research Foundation showed that most Americans wished politics were like the Etch A Sketch, so they could erase Bush’s eight years in the White House and go back to a time when the country was solvent and hadn’t pissed off half the world.